ran up a steep incline this morning — dropped my shades, almost got knocked down twice — to catch the 650am shuttle. I got there in time but the bus didn’t see me and drove away. oh well. but seriously, the shuttle stop is interesting. there have been two places so far where employees of fiercely competing tech companies have been willing to gather together. one is music (jam studio) and one is at the shuttle stop. we are all one homogenous lump until a bus comes and the sifting-shifting process occurs, separating the apples from the googles. everyone standing up heads down. I’m shamelessly sitting on a stranger’s doorstep and out of breath.
this is a different sort of fatigue, and it gathers deep behind the eyes. yesterday I was thinking about complexity. that’s probably the best characteristic description of what work is like — managing complexity. untangling without getting tangled in the process. not just the work itself but the people, the industry, the life that is outside. is it really outside? all my parts intent on seeping into one another. a hundred visions and revisions. some subset of the nations & tribes & tongues & peoples float in and out of my peripherals daily, hourly. I want to see them and have a violent urgent loving desire for them to give Him glory.
o God you have heaped blessing upon blessing onto my head. I’m really overwhelmed. I dare not trust in any of it. I know I can only trust you. if and when you take away be merciful to me and make me still glad.