passive aggressive communication
pretending i am not as dumb/unholy as i really am, especially in prayer
praying in autopilot
filing away things “to pray later”; pray now
nodding without understanding

why? because Jesus, you bore the weight of all my pride, disbelief, unlovingness, doubt, flippancy, covetousness, impatience, FEAR, attentionwhoring, insecurity, self-hatred, others-hatred, you-hatred………im not gonna hit a level of sin that you haven’t accounted for

you were sacrificed. perfect=complete=full=satisfactory

Lord, help me not belittle your death, your grace!

so many familiar thoughts & feelings (stemming from FALSE BELIEFS) prickling needling UGH yuck so angsty so sick………..and all this is so clogged, like our bathtub

desperate rescue come now come now please!


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