waste

it is so tempting to feel like today was a waste or worse than a waste, sleeping three hours and skipping all class to sleep and nurse migraine but still not sleeping, spilling tea all over my laptop and paying dearly in terms of money and time and inability to do cis homework and potentially precious hard drive stuff and and and fruitless ish meeting with prof who is also exhausted and me going to Mayer to use the computer to write something that now sounds so hollow and silly and and ahhhh

in dfw words, to draw the conclusion that today was a waste (or worse) is the result of my buying into the lie that it’s all about me

but that’s really not the whole story…right? it has to be more than not-about-me. it has to be about something bigger with the capacity to create meaning

God creates. He is the only generator.

He alone can redeem my seemingly futile day

turn

around

even if all I did today was to let a dear friend twirl my hair and pin it to my head (hehe) – something infinitely precious in that

words words words I am so FULL OF THEM. today I need to listen and to swallow. hush. still. watch Him unfold me & those around me. 

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