“…complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind.” -Phil 2:2
the past few weeks have been sort of weird. feeling so drained 65% of the time but the other 35% was just pure joy and delight in God. yet for this very reason I doubted my faith ever more for its arbitrariness and conditional strength. what exactly am I basing it on? sometimes it feels like i am back to square one. there are all these nuggets i swallowed thirstily yet i am still deep in the struggle. the same struggle. not adequate and very sinful.
But a faithful angel reminded me today that nothing counts but total dependency on Jesus. cliche but so hard to grasp if you lack circumstances and/or the willingness to take it to the deepest corners of your life.
leaning more by praying more; so far so good. writing this down to convince my future unbelieving heart that: i felt and knew that jesus was…
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