knot

feeling SO crusty and knotty tonight. Holy spirit come and be merciful, massage these irritations and anxieties away. suspicions, insecurities. suddenly feeling veryvery helpless – old nightmares coming back. oldfears that used to make me breathe too quick and sleep too little. old hurts. o my i am so needy. i feel my need and it is so great. people next me talking about fish oil. for a long time. maybe i should take fish oil. don’t trust your moods but don’t waste them either. everything residue/outflow of inner sin and heart issues. i am fearful because i don’t trust God, simple as that. Jesus my heart is so heavy and weighed down tonight but i want to be humble. to cast your cares is to be humble. because i have to acknowledge that You are Lord. yesterday (or day before) i asked k to pray that i might see my sin better……..I AM SEEING IT. I AM FEELING ITS EFFECT and its hold on me. AUGHHHHHHHHHHH. i would like to say with David, yo everyone, I AM A WORM AND NOT A MAN. still fumbling here in the dark on my mat but i trust that rescue is near, and will be in Good Time. KAIROS. it’s already here. peace, peace, peace.

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