bee

being busy is a wonderful way to forget that this time is mine to steward. i am almost totally passive. in the morning i simply check my calendar and go where it tells me to. and i feel like a grown up or at least a responsible person when i have been to all seven meetings, made and packed two meals, not passed out in class — and remembered to bathe. but i have absolutely no sense of where all my time is going, or what i am truly investing my heart and energy in, because each appointment just happens. perhaps this is why i have felt for so much of college a particular difficulty in answering the externally-posed question “so what have you been up to?” or even the internally-posed question “what did i do all day??”.

planning is great, but i feel myself slipping in and out of every class/meetup/event/errand without any purpose or intention or awareness of WHY. or HOW i am going to accomplish all these things. a remedy to this is to do a quick calendar prayer before the day begins, asking for strength and peace and a reminder that God is with me — and then another calendar prayer after the day’s dust has settled, asking for forgiveness and giving praise.

because the days are evil, and as we take peculiar pleasure in telling the freshmen, YOUR YEARS WILL GO BY IN A FLASH. better to know what you’ve done, or rather who you’ve become while remaining & abiding in the fold of Him who calls you to be His.

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