I’ve been back for thirty hours. Feels like two weeks!
Today I learned that I am forgiven much.
And that I do not have to ‘order’ my heart/mind before I can be saved. Processing is all very well, but He loved me waaaaay before I learned to craft a well-rehearsed thematically-organized account of the state of my soul (with juuuuuust the right level of vulnerability). He loved me when I was a mess and stubbornly chose death over life. He made me come alive. Eph 2 kicking back in full force, and it’s goooooood.