muck

just feel like confessing this somewhere: i got really angry two nights ago and don’t remember feeling so suffocated by my own anger for a long time. what to do? helpless and loveless and broken. broken not in the sense of sad but in the sense of not functioning as a whole unit made in the image of a God of love.

 

reading the word makes me feel and know that i am not crazy, only fallen. we have names for things now but the disease is as old as sin. jonah was a sulky fellow if i ever saw one: a worm ate a plant and that made him angry enough to die. so God gives us the ability to feel things about people and issues, and we often bungle that up by feeling the wrong degree of anger at the wrong kind of thing. what was saddening to me about that anger wasn’t just the moment but the insight that moment gave me into my heart, realizing what makes me tick.

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