in the shower

pride is not mere confidence in man
pride is a state of confidence in man – whether full or empty, it is the act measuring one’s worth in a way that is flawed.

which is why pride feels so much like humility – i feel lousy and small, but only because somewhere in me i feel that i ought to be so much better, so much bigger.

why does my belief in God feel so alien?
i seem to think i build much of my life upon that belief but truth be told, i think not..
a world founded entirely on Him would shatter the very instant connection is lost – my life has such long lulls.

what if i woke up and told myself that something as innocuous as the packaging of my cereal wanted to lie to me? because it does – everywhere i glance i am being bought (or sold?) by/to the notion that i am the center of the world.

zzzzzz.

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