So

Having emerged from the world of K12 schooling, I get a lot of comments that basically go, “YOU LOOK SO YOUNG!”. The first few times I could ignore, but after a while I realised that there may be some truth in this. And it isn’t a ‘good’ thing. Is it because I refuse to touch makeup, or because I dress on a meagre budget (of money and of time)? Or is it because I don’t act my age?

I should go around telling people I’m twenty-five. That’ll scare them.

A couple of thoughts about Facebook:

1. Nobody should feel like they need to let other people tell them whether to be on or off of Facebook. It’s senseless to write it off as good or bad.

2. That said, Fb is known to occupy (and dominate) a large part of its users’ lives, and also known to bring about unique alterations to their social and private habits. Therefore I do think that it is worthwhile to use it/not use it reflectively and, well, prudently. Why does such a good word as prudent have to contain the word prude?

3. Facebook brings out my inner narcissist. Or more accurately, it feeds my vanity at an alarming rate. I find myself spending disproportionate amounts of time wondering what will make me look good in front of the people I am trying to impress. And then I do those things. And then I try and figure out whether I have succeeded. If I have failed, I try harder. If I have succeeded… I try harder.

4. I’m painfully aware that abstaining from Fb does not bring an end to my people-pleasing tendency or excessive self-love. I also appreciate that here I can only speak for myself as I try to be honest with what really goes on in my heart; it would be presumptuous to generalize. It always is. We always generalize. Haha.

5. It’s really difficult to explain all this in response to “HEY I CAN’T FIND YOU ON FACEBOOK! COME OUT OF HIDING!” or, more commonly “WHY ARE YOU SO ANTISOCIAL”. And even if I could detail the whole thing without losing the other person, it doesn’t take its own weight. What I mean is it’s actually hypocritical to make such a big deal about being self-dis-interested if it’s all for the sake of feeling better about yourself. Right? Same disease and different manifestation. So God & faith needs to be brought in. The root of all sin is pride. God gives grace to the humble and opposes the proud. Do not be a companion of fools, much less a beggar on the streets where they walk. Etc.

So.

I don’t know.

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