This is probably a very strange request. But right now I want nothing more than to laugh myself silly and choke on my breath with tears streaming down my cheeks clutching my stomach and chortling nonstop like I used to spend half my time doing. To be the kind of person I am always disdaining nowadays for making so much unwarranted noise and being so inconsiderate when I am trying to get something done. It’s not that I’m miserable or need to be relieved from pain or depression, not at all. I just think I might have forgotten laughter.

It really isn’t on purpose. Like I told someone a few days ago, I just don’t find anything funny anymore – teasing, probing, sick jokes, gossip, lameness… I’m not even consciously rejecting humor because I don’t agree with its moral value or whatever. Everything is just.. not funny. I think I am becoming a block of wood. What does one do when one is becoming a block of wood?? Oh and there’s a really sad irony in trying too hard not to take life so seriously.

So yes. Dear God, I would love to laugh again šŸ˜¦


One thought on “froth

  1. I have a guaranteed way to get you out of this. Visit my cell when you’re free!!!!! šŸ™‚

    I totally get what you mean with your 1st paragraph though… often in school I’m like that ): I shock even myself with my disdain! Like while people like chua shi min & lucy are being all insane and laughing like crazy in class, I just think “I’m above that, I wish they’d stop being stupid” which makes me stop short and think about what I just… thought, heh.

    But cell always brings back the laughter for me. I’ve laughed til I cried so many weekends!

    (How’s church btw?)

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