This is probably a very strange request. But right now I want nothing more than to laugh myself silly and choke on my breath with tears streaming down my cheeks clutching my stomach and chortling nonstop like I used to spend half my time doing. To be the kind of person I am always disdaining nowadays for making so much unwarranted noise and being so inconsiderate when I am trying to get something done. It’s not that I’m miserable or need to be relieved from pain or depression, not at all. I just think I might have forgotten laughter.
It really isn’t on purpose. Like I told someone a few days ago, I just don’t find anything funny anymore – teasing, probing, sick jokes, gossip, lameness… I’m not even consciously rejecting humor because I don’t agree with its moral value or whatever. Everything is just.. not funny. I think I am becoming a block of wood. What does one do when one is becoming a block of wood?? Oh and there’s a really sad irony in trying too hard not to take life so seriously.
So yes. Dear God, I would love to laugh again 😦