Realization: I’m paranoid about being incorrect or inaccurate, especially about spiritual issues. Which is so silly!! Because it stems from a form of spiritual pride and an attitude which tells me I can’t make mistakes, when in fact that happy truth is that not only is it alright to make mistakes but I am incapable of otherwise. It is pride in me that grapples with the idea that I am foolish and a downright nothing without God’s transforming power in me.
I really feel like I’m hopping back and forth between two worlds. And each world makes absolutely no sense when I’m in the other. (very) Premature mid-life crisis, perhaps! Or maybe just double-faced.
Interesting thing, yesterday – we did DISC tests (yes, again) and the surprising thing wasn’t so much the result but how people reacted to the result (which was C-D, btw). I’m so used to being greeted by shock/horror from people upon them finding out I am a C, that when yesterday, when people largely agreed with it, I got a shock. Sorry for that horrible sentence. Anyway either this means that 1. My behavior has finally become consistent with my personality (no, personality is not behavior!) or 2. I changed some time ago. But I think (2) is more likely because the people I see everyday now didn’t know me a couple of years ago. And yeagh I still can’t decide whether personality tests do more harm or more good..