letting go

I’ve been clinging on very tightly and obsessively to something and it’s been feeding itself and just getting worse and worse.. and really, it’s time to let go. The imagery that comes to mind here is idyllic and sweet – a small girl standing on some picturesque nature-y spot and letting go of a kite or balloon or whatever. But let’s not be deluded here (haha I can’t believe i’m talking to myself) because letting go isn’t just flinging yourself facedown and crying to God one night, feeling all liberated and joyful. It’s a hard and tiring process which involves much unpleasantness and more self-control than I dare to think of, it’s a battle in my head. Above all, it involves prayer, and a lot of it. Prayer which probably isn’t going to “feel good”, probably is going to get boring and repetitive, but never unheard.

I hope I remember this tomorrow.

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