doubt your doubts/believe your beliefs

The eternal struggle for humility, sigh. Like what C. S. Lewis said: If you think you’re humble, you almost certainly aren’t. I still remember the sermon from over a year ago – humility is a choice, not a feeling. Like love. Actually if you think about it, they are essentially the same (?) concept – focus on God. Unselfishness? Nah. I’ve fallen into that pit too many times, being so caught up in not caring for myself and being accommodating that it became a selfish thing in itself – I yearned for me to be “good” for my own reasons. No. Turn your eyes upon Jesus/Look full in his wonderful face 🙂

I’m scared. I’m scared I’ve just reached a spritual peak and am now going downwards again, like I always do after a while. I musn’t confuse my emotional state with my spiritual – the former will rise and fall unpredictably as long as we’re here and there’s nothing inherently wrong with that but the latter can grow exponentially.

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