Am ridiculously tired, but so uplifted 🙂 A few things happened today which spoke so clearly to trust God in His own time, His plans for me extend far beyond my wildest dreams. His thoughts not my thoughts and His ways not my ways – thank God for that.
That doesn’t mean that I’m anywhere near perfection, though, there’s still all this.. insecurity that needs to be dealt with. It’s so easy to talk about placing your worth in God when you have fallbacks, but once they’re taken away, it hurts and it stings. Badly and almost unbearably. Which reminds me of something I prayed some time ago: Dear God, put me in a situation where all I have is You. Now I’m almost scared to pray that because I’ve gotten a taste of what it feels like to lose things I don’t like admitting being attached to.
Funny how difficult it is to squeeze a natural order out of things, how it’s actually a daily struggle to eat and sleep normally. I want to achieve both very soon 😦 Sigh.